Nothing More Like a Fool Than a Drunken Time Lord
by outcastfromgallifrey
Summary: When Rose finds the Doctor has gotten himself drunk on some alien whiskey...


"Hi, sorry to bother you, but have you seen a tall man in a brown suit with big fluffy hair?" Rose asks the man across the bar counter. "I think he came in here a couple of minutes ago."

"Oh, him," the elderly man smiles. "Yeah, I know him. He's over there. Corner."

Rose turns to where the man is pointing, spying the Doctor slumped against the wall. He has a giddy smile on his face and his eyes are half-lidded. Furrowing her brow, she walks over to him.

"Doctor?" she says looking down at him. Lazily he tilts his head up toward her. His eyes are unfocused and he blinks a few times before a smile of realization comes across his face.

"Rose! There you are," his words are slurred. "Been looking… everywhere for you." He moves his arm out in front of him as a gesture of 'everywhere'. "Where'd you get?"  
"I grabbed my coat from the TARDIS," Rose says slowly, looking the Doctor up and down. "Like I said I was. Doctor, are you alright?"

"Course I am!" he grins, his head flopping down on his shoulder. _Right. _Course he is. Rose leans down to his level, looking into his eyes. He's still grinning like a madman with his eyes clouded and sweat against his brow. He giggles.

"You have… pretty eyes," the Doctor mumbles. "Did I ever tell you?"

Rose blinks in surprise.

"So… so pretty," he continues breathy. Rose wrinkles up her nose as a pungent smell wafts up from his mouth. A smell very much similar to liquor. Her eyes scanning him again she notices and small bottle trapped beneath his arm. Reaching out, she snatches it from him.

"What is this?" she confronts him. He merely shrugs and chuckles again.

"Oh, that, miss," the voice of the bartender meets her ears and she turns to face him. "That's Júpbarracho. One swig of that and you'll be as happy as a bird for the night."

Rose glances back to the Doctor in horror. She holds up the empty bottle to him saying, "How many of these did you have?!"

He giggles and smiles sheepishly, "Four."

"Oh my God," Rose gapes. "Doctor! Why the hell did you do that?!"

The Doctor shrugs and lets out an unflattering belch, "Man said… I could have a sample."

"Well, I didn't mean four bottles!" the barman grumbles. "I hope you'll be paying for those, miss."

Rose groans and glares down at the drunken Doctor. He hiccups and grins, looking like a complete fool. Apparently, 'superior biology' didn't mean Time Lords couldn't get drunk. Leaning down, Rose looped her arm under the Doctor's and hauled him up.

"Come on, you," she grumbles.

"Are we going somewhere?" he asks happily.

"Yeah," Rose grunts as he slumps against her, using her shoulder as a crutch. "Back to the TARDIS."

"Anywhere is fine… as long as you're there!"

"Right," Rose says giving him a look. He has a blissful smile on his face and leans his head against her hair. Okay. Drunk Time Lords were a little friendly. They began to make their way towards the door, Rose practically dragging the Doctor along.

"Oh, bartender!" the Doctor calls out. "Just… put the drinks on Captain Jack… Harkness's tab."

"Friend of Harnkess, eh?" the man snorts. "Figures."

Rose leads the Doctor out of the bar heading toward the TARDIS. What was he thinking? _'Oh hey, Rose. I'm just going to wait for you in this pub, and get myself utterly stoned, okay?' Bloody idiot. _

Once they enter the TARDIS, Rose not-so-very-gently drops the Doctor into the jump seat. He's still giggling and leans his against the seat back.

"I forgot… the TARDIS had a domed ceiling!" he chortles.

_Great. I'm stuck here now with a drunk Time Lord who can't fly a TARDIS or even think straight. _Rose runs a hand through her hair frustratingly. Traveling with the Doctor wasn't ever going to be easy. Granted, _this _particular situation was new, but all the same. And still, she would never leave him, even if he was slobbering drunk.

"Are you… are you mad, Rose?" the Doctor's groggy voice brings her out of her thoughts.

"A little, yes," Rose crosses her arms.

"Well… you're very… cute, when you're mad," he mumbles with a grin, gazing at her. "Your little frown… and furrowed brows. So cute."

Rose feels her cheeks grow warm and smiles slightly. The Doctor grins back at her and pushes himself up from the jump seat. She stares at him in surprise as he staggers over to her. Wrapping his arms about her he squeezes her tightly, nuzzling his head into her shoulder. Rose laughs and rubs his back before pulling away.

"Did I ever tell you…?" the Doctor begins with a smile. "How much I love you?"

Rose's eyes widen and she's blushing fully now. She didn't think the Doctor knew what he was saying. He… he didn't love her. He wouldn't. _Probably just the booze talking. Yeah… _The Doctor grins and leans forward to press a sloppy kiss to her forehead.

"Love you… so much," he continues. "Never say it… though. Love you."

"Right," Rose bites her lip, trying to convince herself the Doctor really was just rambling. "I think it's time you got to bed."

He doesn't reply but hums and presses his head against hers. Rose carefully unwraps his arms from around her and takes his hand, intending to lead him to his room. There was only one problem didn't know _where _the Doctor's room was. Or if he even had one.

"Doctor? Where do you sleep?" Rose asks him.

"I don't," he giggles squeezing her hand tightly. "I watch you sleep, though."

"Okay…" Rose glances at the grinning Time Lord. "Then, where would you sleep if you did?"

"Beside you!" he laughs and reaches forward to wrap his arms around her once more. She gasps in surprise and pulls away.

"Alright, that's a little too much touching," Rose says. He frowns, his bottom lip quavering a bit. It was like hitting a puppy. His sad brown eyes and pouting lip… _Not fair. _Rose sighs and extends her hand to him. Slowly a smile comes across his face and he takes her hand willingly.

"Now can you show me where your bedroom is?" Rose asks slowly. He hums and steps closer to her.

"First door… on the left!" he mumbles, resting his head against her temple. Rose can feel her heart rate increasing as her breath caught.

"Right, er, um," she stammers. "Come on, you. Let's get you to bed."

He follows her like an eager puppy as she leads him away. Soon they reach the room and Rose scans her eyes around taking it in. The Doctor's room is large with a desk cluttered with papers and gadgets, a glowing fireplace, a small sofa, and a large bed with dark chocolate sheets. But the thing that takes Rose's breath away is the ceiling. Instead of a brown domed top, the walls seemed to melt away into a brilliant starry sky, filled with vibrant blue and golden hues. Rose gasps gazing up at it in awe.

"It's beautiful," she breathes.

"Not as pretty… as you," the Doctor slurs, leaning his chin against her shoulder. Rose stiffens up and stares at him out of the corner of her eye as he begins nuzzling her neck with his nose. His sweaty hair brushes against her skin, causing a tremble to travel up her spine.

"I think you need to rest," she says quickly, turning to face him. He still has a goofy grin playing across his mouth and his eyes are half-lidded. Slackly he raises a hand and brushes her face, trailing his fingers down her cheek.

Rose gently brings his hand away. His fingers wrap around hers as she does and he brings her hand to his mouth and gives a kiss to her knuckles. She watches him with her heart thudding in her chest as he cuddles her hand. Then quickly she pulls her hand away. It's not like she's not enjoying the Doctor mooning over her. It's just… he wasn't like that, and certainly not himself presently. He'd probably not remember anything he said—or did—in the morning, or he might remember and be absolutely horrified in what he had done.

"Time for bed," Rose says. She pushes him towards the bed and he drags his feet along the floor.

"Don't need to… push," he mumbles groggily. Then a giggle sounds from him and he reaches toward Rose, wrapping his arms around her waist in a tight hug.

"Let go, Doctor," Rose says with a small laugh, pulling his arms off her and pushing him away. He falls against his bed in a giggle fit, rolling around lazily in the sheets. Rose stifles a snicker as he rolls onto his stomach in the middle of the bed and tilts his head up to Rose, his hair ruffled and sticking out in odd angles. He hiccups and grins at her adorably.

"Right, get some rest," Rose says and turns away, starting toward the door. There's a scrambling sound and a thump behind her and she turns to see the Doctor sprawled on the floor.

"Where're you going?" he mumbles, a concerned look over his face.

"Just to my room," Rose says slowly. "'S been a long day, Doctor."

"Has it?" he scratches the back of his neck in confusion. Sighing, Rose goes over to him and loops her arms under his, hauling him up again.

"Come on, you," she grunts. "Back to bed."

He giggles and goes limp in her arms, leaning his head against her collarbone.

"Doctor," Rose grumbles slightly annoyed. "You're gonna crush me."

He laughs but straightens up against to fall on the bed once more. His arm dangles off the side as he lies on his stomach, his mouth open in a smile. Rose laughs at the sight of him and ruffles his hair, making him giggle.

"I like that," he mumbles into the pillow. "You… running your fingers… through my hair. Brilliant hair, if I might add."

"Even when you're drunk you're still full of it," Rose smiles and gives his hair an extra tousle before bringing her hand away.

"Can you stay here tonight?" he gives her the puppy-dog eyes again with a small hint of a smile.

"Er, I, um, don't really think that would be a good idea," Rose stammers, biting her lip. "Since you're not exactly sober."

"_Please_," he wines reaching his arm out toward her. "It's… lonely without you."

Looking down at his sad, pleading face, Rose couldn't say no. She lets out a sigh in defeat and climbs over the bed to sit on the other side. The Doctor laughs in happiness and rolls over so that he's looking at her. Crossing her arms, she glances down at him.

"I'm only staying until you fall asleep," she says. "I'm not gonna stay here when you get a hangover."

"Time Lords don't… get hangovers," he slurs. "Su-perior biology."

"Right," Rose rolls her eyes.

"That can't be… comfortable."

"What?"

"Sitting… upright like that," he nods lazily at her.

"No, I'm fine," Rose says, stifling a giggle as he looks up at her, seeming to be genuinely concerned on her comfortableness. Frowning, he groggily pulls himself up into a sitting position beside her. She raises an eyebrow at him as he mimics her and folds his arms across his chest.

"What are you doing?" Rose smiles.

"I'm… not gonna rest… until you're comfortable," he insists nodding his head. Rose laughs at his brooding pout.

"If I lay down, will you promise to sleep?" Rose says, poking her tongue out between her teeth. His half-lidded gaze flicks to her mouth and he lets out a hum.

"I love that smile," he grins. "I love… everything about you!"

Rose feels herself blush and covers her mouth. The Doctor continues grinning at her, his eyes roaming her face. Something sparkled in his clouded eyes, making Rose's heart skip a beat. He never looked at her like that…

"You're… staring at me," the Doctor's voice causes Rose to glance up at him.

"What?" she stammers. Giggling, the Doctor raises a hand and points to her and then to him.

"You were staring at me!"

"You were the one staring," Rose says quickly. "Not me."

"Yeah… you were."

"No, I wasn't," Rose grumbles. "Now go to bed."

Turning away from him, she lays down against the duvet, her back to the Doctor. A small chortle sounds from him.

"Night, Rose!" he giggles. "I love you!"

Rose stiffens. Her heart beats rapidly in her chest and she's just about to turn over and confront him on that when the Doctor speaks again.

"You, Rose… always you," he murmurs close to her ear. "No one… else. I love you… always."

His lips press lightly to her cheek and slowly make their way down the side of her face. Rose smiles, feeling happiness bubbling up inside her. She didn't care if he was intoxicated and probably wouldn't remember any of this. He'd told her that he loved her. Three words she had been dying to hear since… well, forever. And it made her heart soar.

Rose turns onto her back to stare up at him. A smile still plays on his lips and he puts his hand on the other side of her so that he's propped up above her. Dipping his head, he kisses Rose's nose and then forehead, roaming around her face in soft brushes.

"Doctor," Rose giggles. "What're you doing?"

"Kissing you," he grins, and pulls back. A serious expression comes across his face and he asks softly, "Rose… do you love me?"

Looking up at him, she can see nervousness in his face. Like her answer means life or death for him. His brows are raised with hope sparkling in his brown eyes. Smiling, Rose leans up and kisses his brow.

"Of course I love you," she says. A wide grin spreads across the Doctor's face when she lays back and he giggles. His gaze softens and he leans forward, inches away from her. A thought pricks Rose in the back of her mind. A nagging conscience telling her she shouldn't be here. The Doctor wasn't really himself. He'd be horrified if anything happened. But he's leaning down even closer to her, his eyes fixed on his point of interest. She really shouldn't be here…

_Oh, forget it._ He's kissing her softly now, moving his lips against hers, and she's letting him. What else was she supposed to do? Push him away? No way. This was much more enjoyable.

His tongue runs along her bottom lip, and she stifles a moan. She lets him taste her, allowing him to run his tongue along hers and sweep her mouth. The hint of alcohol is in his breath mingling with his taste. But it doesn't really bother Rose.

She brings her hands up, rubbing the tiny hairs on the back of his neck. A growl sounds from him in response and he climbs over her fully, straddling her waist. He moves away from her lips and begins to kiss her jaw, swirling his tongue on her skin and giving her little love nips. Rose gasps as he does. His hips rock against hers and Rose's conscience finally takes over.

"Er, Doctor?" she says quickly pushing him away from her. "I, I think that's, er, enough."

"Hm?" he blinks lazily at her. "What's wrong?"

"It's not that I'm not enjoying this, I am really," she bites her lip. "It's just that, er, well, you're not, well, I'm really tired."

"Oh," the Doctor mumbles. He looks down at Rose trapped beneath him, and giggles. Then he flops onto his side, and wraps his arms around her, snuggling up behind her and spooning her tightly. Rose giggles as he places a soft kiss to her neck and drapes his leg over hers.

"Well… maybe we can continue that tomorrow?" he snickers. "Since you're too tired. I've… always fantasized shagging you up against… the TARDIS console."

"Doctor!" Rose gasps with a hint of a laugh and elbows him. He just giggles and nuzzles her neck again. Sighing, Rose settles herself in his comforting embrace with a smile. She never, ever, had thought the Doctor had fantasizes about her. She of course had some about him, but she didn't think he was like that or let alone even thought of her as more than a friend ever. Well, she didn't mind being proven wrong.

The Doctor's breathing slows as he enters into a deep sleep. Guess Time Lords needed sleep every once and a while, especially if they've been drinking. Rose listens to his breathing for a few minutes before her eyes gently drift close and she joins him in slumber.

_*****DW*****_

The Doctor blinks open his eyes. Blimey. Was he sleeping? That was weird. He hardly ever slept. How did he even get into bed? This is his bed, right? Something tickles his nose and he glances down in front of him. Golden hair meets his eyes and the back of Rose. His head is resting on her shoulders as she lies on her stomach. Smiling her nuzzles her neck with his nose. He didn't know Rose was in his bed.

Rose was in his bed. _Rose _was in _his _bed.

Letting out a choking gasp, he springs away from her, only to find his legs were tangled in hers. _Rassilon! _Rose stirs and lets out a confused mumble. _Damn. _

"Huh? Doctor?" she says sleepily turning to face him. "Oh!"

She scrambles up from the bed sheets, untwisting her legs from him and moving away, her cheeks a burning red.

"I, er," she mumbles exactly the same time as he says, "Rose, you—"

They both stop and silence follows. Rose bites her lip and runs a hand through her hair nervously.

"Er," the Doctor clears his throat. "What, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, you don't remember do you?" Rose giggles slightly. "Thought so."

"Remember what?" his eyes widen.

"Oh, you just got yourself drunked up," Rose shrugs.

"Drunk?!" he squeaks. "How—I mean, Time Lords don't get drunk!"

"Oh, that's so a lie," Rose glares at him. "Last night, when I went to get my jacket, you just happened to pop into a bar, and fancied yourself a free sample of some alien whiskey."

The Doctor scratches the back of his neck, realization dawning on him. Waiting for Rose, the bar, the very nice barman who asked if he wanted a drink, and the Doctor being a fool and thinking the drink would have been something nonalcoholic, like a pop. _Oops._

"Oh," he mumbles. "I, well, kinda remember doing that. What did he give me?"

"I don't know, something like Júpbarrary or something," Rose says. "And that you had four bottles of it."

"Júpbarracho?" she nods and he groans, hitting his head with the base of his palm. "Stupid, stupid, Time Lord! And you said I had four _bottles _of it?"

"Yup," Rose says popping the 'p'. He groans audibly again and buries his face in hands, completely humiliated with himself.

"I wasn't passed out when you found me, was I?" he ventures, peeking up at Rose from behind his fingers.

"Oh no, you were well awake," Rose gives him a smile, her tongue poking out of the corner of her mouth.

"Oh, Rassilon," the Doctor chokes, feeling a lump rise up in his throat. "I didn't say—or _do_ anything, did I?"

"No," Rose giggles and looks away. "Not really."

"What does 'not really' mean? I didn't swear did I?"

"No, you just sort of laughed a lot," Rose wouldn't look at him. "And… yeah."

The Doctor watches her carefully, knowing she wasn't telling him the whole truth. His eyes drop down to the bed they're sitting on. _Oh, Rassilon… _

"Rose," he swallows past the lump in his throat. "You and I didn't, er, I mean, I didn't, er, I—"

"Oh! No! No, no, no, nothing happened!" Rose says quickly. "Nothing like that!"

The Doctor lets out the breath he had been holding. _Thank Gallifrey. _He'd never want anything like that to happen. No, he'd want to be fully conscious if they—_what the hell am I thinking? Stop it! You aren't allowed to think about Rose that way! _He curses himself inwardly in every language he can remember on the spot. He hates himself for thinking well, humany-wumany thoughts about Rose. About how she'd taste and feel and how he could make her scream his name and writhe beneath—_Stop it!_

"So, you don't really remember anything that happened last night?" Rose brings him out of the inward battle with himself. He looks up at her and finds her fiddling the hem of her shirt, not looking directly at him.

"No, not really," he tugs on his ear. "Why?"

"Oh, it's nothing," Rose gives him a small smile. "Just, something you said."

"What'd I say?"

"Er," she bites her lip and glances over to him briefly. "Never mind. It doesn't matter anyway."

She turns away and slides off the bed, standing up and obviously intending to leave.

"Rose," the Doctor calls as she steps away. "Please tell me."

"I said it's nothing," she doesn't look at him and continues to the door. Growling angrily, the Doctor hops up from the bed to chase after her only to fall flat on his face when he stands up. He yelps as he hits the floor, the room spinning around him.

"Doctor!" Rose is by his side immediately. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," he grumbles as she helps him sit up. The room is still rotating around him and he shakes his head to clear his dizziness.

"Hmm, hangover?" Rose giggles and he glares at her.

"Time Lords don't get hangovers," he growls.

"Oh, shut up," Rose hits his shoulder playfully. "You said Time Lords didn't get drunk either."

"Well, neither is going to happen again," he says matter-of-factually.

"Pity," Rose smiles. "You're quite funny when you're drunk."

"Well, glad you enjoyed my intoxication," he grumbles standing up from the floor. The room spins again before him and he sways, putting a hand to his head.

"Whoa there, time boy," Rose grabs his arm, supporting him. "I think you should take it easy."

"I'll be fine," he says, but leans against Rose for support, just support, nothing else. No.

"So are you going to tell me what I said?" he asks looking down at her. "Or am I going to have to use my super-duper Time Lord powers and read your mind."

"You said you'd never do that on me," Rose answers.

"I'd rather not," he says. "But I really, really want to know what I said that seems to upset you so much. It's going to drive me mad, Rose. Whatever it was, I'm sorry, so sorry if I—"

"It didn't bother me," Rose whispers. "Quite the opposite in fact."

"Then," he frowns and turns in front of her. "Then, what did I say?"

"You probably didn't actually mean it," Rose's cheeks turn a faint shade of pink and she glances away.

"Oh, come on, Rose!" he says exasperatedly. "What could I have said that would make you act like this?"

"That you loved me."

The Doctor's hearts literally stop. His breath catches so that his respiratory bypass system almost has to kick in. He had told Rose he loved her. He'd always hidden his feeling from her. He couldn't love her. It… It was against his rules! Time Lords and humans could never be together. Ever. Humans die, and he lives on. He could never be attached to anyone. Not even Rose. No matter how beautiful, wonderful, brilliant, amazing she was.

"Didn't really mean what you were saying," Rose murmurs softly pulling him out of his thoughts. He glances down at her with his mouth opening and closing uselessly. _Just say it. Tell her off. You can't be with her. _He's having an inward battle with himself. _She doesn't think I love her? That's good, right? She, she doesn't love me either. Yes she does. I hope. No, I don't! _

"Well, I'm just… gonna go now," Rose steps away from him. Something snaps within him when she leaves his side. _Oh, to hell with it all! _

Quickly he reaches out, catching her on the arm. She gasps in surprise as he pulls her to him, but that gasp disappears entirely when his lips are against hers and he's kissing her quite profoundly. His arms trap her against him, his hands roaming her back and neck while hers find a way into his hair. She tugs at the roots sending sparks through his nerves. He growls into her mouth and she pushes him forward until they both fall against the bed. Opening his mouth, he teases her bottom lip with his tongue. A moan of pleasure sounds from her and she opens to him, allowing his tongue to sweep her mouth before he takes her bottom lip into his. She groans blissfully as he does. He quite likes that sound, and would very much like to hear it again.

Rose eventually pulls away from him, panting hard but smiling down at him. He grins at her and runs his hand up her back, enjoying the feeling over her lying on top of him.

"I wasn't lying, Rose," he says. "Didn't matter if I was drunk, I meant it. I love you, Rose Tyler. Enormously."

"Mm, sort of guessed that when you forcefully grabbed me and passionately snogged me senseless," she giggles. Leaning down, she makes a path of kisses along his jaw and he hums in happiness.

"And I love you too, Doctor," she murmurs into his ear.

"I'm gonna have to get drunk again sometime," he muses with a growl, flipping them over so that she's lying beneath him. "I very much like the after effects."

"I'll bet you will," she giggles with a sultry grin, bringing her arms up around his neck. "And is it true that you fantasized shagging me against the TARDIS console?"


End file.
